Next have a great new kids range for Autumn, which I will be exploiting to skip the VAT and risk of looking the same as other people…Wearing kids’ clothes is a trick I’ve been pulling for years. I’m about the size of most 15-16 year-olds which gives me access to styles not seen in ‘grown up’ shops: tutus and bows and prints and hearts and all sorts of great stuff.

Coats are a problem for me. I need a 6 to fit my waist and arms, but a 10 to fit my boobs and hips…however, kids’ coats are often more straight up and down, and if you choose the right style, say 60s mac or faux fur, you’re on to a winner.

Shoes are another tricksy cheat: if you have size 4 feet, why pay £100 for leather boots when you can get them VAT free?! And where else have you ever seen leather worker boots with leopard print for £44?

P.S. These boots go up to a size 7…now don’t go telling everyone that for goodness’ sake.