I have finally decided that enough is enough. I am going to face this monster once and for all – look it in the eye and tell it what I think of it.

Vintage, you are a sham. A SHAM.

These pretentious little girls who, five years ago, would have turned their noses up at the idea of wearing SECOND HAND CLOTHES are now fighting over the stuff. I was brought up wearing charity shop and Guide sale hand downs. Jumble sales were a TREAT for me and my siblings. I was always taught that I couldn’t have everything that other people had, but I could have some things that were BETTER, things that no one else had.

And it’s always been true. We didn’t have television – but we had the biggest video collection I’ve ever known. I couldn’t have trips to Disney World – but I could see a city carved out of the red desert rocks of Jordan. I really owe my parents for the gratitude they’ve instilled in me, which allows me to find the same joy in a tiny piece of nothing that cost 20p as could be found in something expensive…though perhaps my shopping habits are a negative effect of this parenting method. Though I buy cheap, I buy destructively often.