Sir, if I may: these shrewd words of yours – which have impressed us much – serve to further our cause not a jot.

Half have left our heads, a full quarter have stood as garnish…why, I do believe our party is replete and sated after your canapé tableau of a speech.

Moving uncomfortably swiftly onwards, may I present our next speaker to the house: The Honourable Fairweather Marchbanks, Duke of Earley.

His past needing no introduction, the admirable Rear Admiral will now take to the high sea of our parliament and, I hope, blandish us with greater maxims than our lamented first speaker.

Sir: the floor is yours, and the house awaits you with bated breath and whispering humbleness.

Let us begin.

Huzzah

The Slow Writing tool has been revamped! I only learned of this after a couple of weeks of lamenting its apparent disappearance, followed by a frosty email to its originator. Fi, how I wronged him!

The new app is ace, go check it out. Pro tip: you want a ‘new demo’ (in the little arrow menu) to do a new exercise – that took me a while to figure out.

This exercise:

1. Must contain an embedded subordinate clause
2. Must begin with a statistic
3. Must begin with a present participle
4. Must contain a metaphor
5. Must contain a colon
6. Must be three words long